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\viewkind4\uc1\pard\ltrpar\f0\fs22 Halloween One-Liners\par
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Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?\par
A: He had no body to dance with.\par
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What do you say to a ghost with three heads?\par
A: Hello, hello, hello.\par
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What is a ghosts favorite ride at the midway?\par
A: A roller ghoster!!\par
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Why does the Mummy keep his Band-aids in the refrigerator?\par
A: He wants to use them later for cold cuts!!\par
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What is a baby ghost's favorite game?\par
A: Peek-a-boo!\par
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What is a Mummies' favorite type of music?\par
A: Wrap!\par
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What is a vampire's favorite holiday?\par
A: Fangsgiving.\par
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What did the baby ghost eat for dinner?\par
A: A boo-loney sandwich.\par
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What kind of street does a ghost like best?\par
A: A dead end.\par
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Who does a ghoul fall in love with?\par
A: His ghoul friend.\par
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Who are some of the werewolves cousins?\par
A: The whatwolves and the whenwolves.\par
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Top 10 Signs You're Too Old To Trick Or Treat\par
10. You get winded from knocking on the door. \par
9.You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. \par
8. You ask for high fiber candy only. \par
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. \par
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.\par
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest. \par
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.\par
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. \par
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. \par
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. \par
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Bizarre Halloween Trivia \par
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* Jack o\rquote lanterns originated in Ireland where people placed \par
candles in hollowed-out turnips to keep away spirits and \par
ghosts on the Samhain holiday. \par
* Halloween was brought to North America by immigrants from \par
Europe who would celebrate the harvest around a bonfire, \par
share ghost stories, sing, dance and tell fortunes. \par
* Tootsie Rolls were the first wrapped penny candy in \par
America. \par
* The ancient Celts thought that spirits and ghosts roamed \par
the countryside on Halloween night. They began wearing masks \par
and costumes to avoid being recognized as human. \par
* Halloween candy sales average about 2 billion dollars \par
annually in the United States. \par
* There really are so-called vampire bats, but they're not \par
from Transylvania. They live in Central and South America \par
and feed on the blood of cattle, horses and birds. \par
* If you see a spider on Halloween, it is the spirit of a \par
loved on watching over you. \par
* Bobbing for apples is thought to have originated from the \par
roman harvest festival that honors Pamona, the goddess of \par
fruit trees. \par
* Black cats were once believed to be witch's familiars who \par
protected their powers. \par
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Q. What's a monster's favorite play?\par
A. Romeo and Ghouliet \par
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Q. Do monster's eat popcorn with their fingers?\par
A. No, They eat the fingers separately. \par
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Q. What is a monster's favorite snack?\par
A. Ghoul scout cookies. \par
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Q. How do you keep an ugly monster in suspense?\par
A. I'll tell you tomorrow. \par
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Q.Where do baby ghost go during the daytime.\par
A. Dayscare centers. \par
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Q. What does a ghost eat for lunch?\par
A. A BOO-longa sandwich. \par
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Q. What do you call a ghosts mother and father\par
A. Transparents \par
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Q.Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?\par
A.You can see right through them. \par
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Q. Where do mummies go to swim?\par
A. The dead sea. \par
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Q. Why was the mummy so tense?\par
A. He was all wound up. \par
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Q. Why don't mummies take vacations?\par
A. They are afraid they might unwind. \par
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Q. What type of girl does a mummy take take on a date?\par
A. Any old girl he can dig up. \par
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Q. Why were ancient Egyptian children so confused?\par
A. Because their daddies were all mummies. \par
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Granpa Munster\par
Q. What happend to the guy who couldn't pay his exorcist bill?\par
A. He was re-possessed. \par
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Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?\par
A. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend. \par
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Q. What do you call a devil's picket line.\par
A. A demon-stration. \par
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Q. What is the best way to get rid of a demon?\par
A. Exorcise a lot \par
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Q. What is the ratio of a pumpkins Circumference to it's diameter?\par
A. Pumpkin Pi. \par
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Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?\par
A. Because demons are a ghoul's best friend. \par
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Q. What do you call a devil's picket line.\par
A. A demon-stration. \par
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Q. What is the best way to get rid of a demon?\par
A. Exorcise a lot \par
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Q. Why doesn't any angry ride her broom?\par
A. She's afraid she might fly off the handle. \par
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Q. Why do witches wear name tags?\par
A. So they know which witch is which. \par
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Q. What do you call two witched living together?\par
A. Broom mates. \par
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Q. Who was the most famous witch detective/\par
A. Warlock Holmes. \par
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Q. Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?\par
A. Because he's a pain in the neck. \par
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Q. What position did Dracula play on the baseball team?\par
A. Bat boy of course. \par
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Q. What kind of dog does Dracula own?\par
A. A bloodhound \par
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Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?\par
A. A Neck-tarine \par
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Because WE Can\par
Q. Was Dracula ever married?\par
A. No, He's a bat-chelor. \par
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Q. Who was the most famous skeleton?\par
A. Napoleon Bone-apart \par
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Q. Why didn't the skeleton eat the cafeteria food?\par
A. He didn't have the stomach for it. \par
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Q. Why are skeletons usually so calm?\par
A. Because nothing gets under their skin. \par
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Q. Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?\par
A. He had no body to go with. \par
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Q. What's a skeleton's favorite instrumnent?\par
A. The trom-bone.\par
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