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A new teacher was trying to make use of her
psychology courses. She started her class by
saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid,
stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.
The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid,
Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there
all by yourself!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother
smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you
do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who
then began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying
attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny!
What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the
Cartoon Network!"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip
to their local police station where they saw pictures
tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted
criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture
and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very
badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when
you took his picture?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.
He watched as his father moved from horse to horse,
running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump,
and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad,
why are you doing that?"
His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses,
I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good
shape before I buy.
Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS
guy wants to buy Mom."
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